Mental play, mental sadism and mental conditioning is serious business. It is about changing the psychology of the slave. It can have tremendous consequences.

And while this is true for all aspects of BDSM, the following is probably even more important when it comes to psychological techniques: make sure you are well aware of potential consequences and evaluate your own motivation!

There are risks, hence you should be risk-aware:

• As opposed to physical bruises, you cannot see mental bruises. They also may not manifest until a much later date, when it is probably impossible to pinpoint exactly caused the bruise.

• Mental conditioning is much like body modification. What you change will probably last (if not forever, at the very least for a very long time). And again, you can probably not see it on the outside.

• A mishap is usually not easy to restore. A mental bruise doesn’t have to be a disaster as long as you go slow, so it doesn’t become a major bruise.

Both partners (i.e. master as well as slave) have an equal responsibility for their own as well as their common safety and well being. This – especially to the slave – means she should think twice before entering into anything. For example, such things as breaking a will may have more consequences than you bargained for.

And – needless to say we hope – partners should be sane! BDSM is not therapy and it will not cure your problems. If you have skeletons in the closet, get rid of them first through therapy, not through BDSM. Having a problem is no reason not to enter into BDSM-activity, as long as you are aware of that problem, deal with it and understand the possible limitations and risks, this may bring about.

Communicate! Talk and talk again before entering into anything, especially mental activity! Be self-critical! Evaluate options, risks, desires and possibilities. And most of all: make sure there is always the protection of a sound and solid relationship between the two (or more) of you.

 

Tips & Tricks

Many different roads all lead to Rome.

The essence of successful humiliation is in your point of departure.

The thing is this: what is embarrassing to one, may not be to the other. And what is a step too far for one, is two steps not taken to the other. In other words, it is a very personal thing, based on personal experience and personal indicators.

So, everything we explain here requires personal verification in your own situation.

The most important thing is to look at humiliation in the following way. Picture the two of you on the edge of a cliff. What you do is make her bend forward. She’ll soon think she will fall. Some just need the verbal hint, others actually need the experience to get the same knot in their stomach. What you’re looking for is the knot. How you get there is a very subtle, step-by-step discovery.

It is not about what you – the dominant – get to see, but what she sees and feels in her head
Invading Privacy

Invading privacy is one way to humiliate and the reason the toilet is so popular, is because that is something almost everybody is ashamed of. Women more than men. Since women are not used to sharing the toilet as most men are.

This in itself can take many shapes:
- Going to the toilet and being supervised;
- Being locked up in there for a while;
- Cleaning the toilet;
- Potty training;
- Uncommon toilet rituals;
- Being urinated upon or ….
- Actually being used as a toilet.

As you can see in this example, personal preferences, experiences and boundaries are everything, when it comes to humiliation. Even within just one technique.

Working with physical features is another good example. Changing her hair color may be a dramatic thing to many women.

Others can handle much more, such as being belittled about the size of their breasts or, as in the picture examples below, their overweight.

 

The above article is a reprint from our information/educational site Kink Culture.
A joint project between Wasteland and PowErotics
Copyright © Hans Meyer