In this chapter I give you the basic structure of a sex magick ritual with the ‘how’s and ‘why’s while next chapter describes several possibilities for working alone, with one or maybe more partners.
First set a goal
- What exactly do you want to achieve with your magick?
- Your goal can be any material attainment, like a new job, prosperity in business affairs, a pleasant house, whatever.
- Your goal can be the healing of yourself, another person, mother earth…
- Your intent can be improvement of an existing relationship or attraction of a new one.
- You may wish to (further) develop several qualities in yourself, or create an excellent artistic piece.
- You may wish to embrace the inner lover, and establish a stronger connection with your higher self.
- You may wish to charge an amulet, talisman, or magical tools, etc….
- Deeply desired wishes create the strongest magick!
- Then create something that makes it possible to laser-like concentrate on your goal/intent during the ritual.
- This can be a short affirmation.
- During the ritual you can repeat the whole affirmation.
Another possibility is to reduce this affirmation to a word that covers its central idea; this will be your magical word. Examples: the affirmation “I am a successful business(wo)man” becomes “Success”. “I request the universe to send me the best possible lover, or partner” becomes “Lover” or “Partner”. The idea behind it is that your subconscious now knows your full intent, therefore it is sufficient to only repeat your magical word during the ritual.
- This can be a visualization of the new created reality.
- It can be a drawing of what you want.
- It can be a symbolic representation of your desire, like a suitable tarot card, rune, sigil, astrological or other symbol.
- In case you do the ritual for someone else it can be helpful to also have a photograph of the person.
- You can use a combination of the above.
Prepare your working space
Clean the space where the ritual will take place. Decorate it with candles, incense, flowers, gemstones or anything else you find appropriate. If you use symbols or other pictures make sure you can see them during the ritual. If you wish to play music, don’t forget to put it on the repeat-button. Close the door and lay the phone off the hook.
Clean your body
While bathing or showering you can visualize the water washing off all mental, emotional and physical dirt.
Relax for a while
Take some deep breaths or meditate a little. If you do magick with a partner you may want to sit opposite each other, hold hands and synchronize breathing or inhale while your partner exhales.
Do a banishment
It is very important to visualize a strong circle/globe of protection that keeps all unwanted spirits out, or do any other banishment you prefer, before you actually start the ritual.
Perform the ritual
I know two ‘main routes’: one with emphasis on the affirmation/mantra/Word of Power, and one with emphasis on visualization.
If you choose to work with an affirmation:
Arouse yourself and/or your partner by any sexual activity you wish to use until you almost reach orgasm. Meanwhile keep on repeating the affirmation or mantra; you can say it out loud or repeat it silently. When you are at the brink of orgasm back off by stopping all genital stimulation, stopping all pelvic movements and relax the muscles in the pelvic floor. Breathe deeply and concentrate even more on your mantra. After a while build up more excitement, backing off again just before the point-of-no-return. This way you build up a great amount of sexual magical energy and deep erotic sensations; you may reach a state of sexual trance. After several times coming close you wish to sweep all of your intent into the universe; let orgasm happen and – here comes the most important part – keep on affirming during orgasm with full mental concentration, call out loud your magical word(s) and don’t mind the neighbors! Take care: if you lose focus during orgasm, you will have had great sex but no magical ritual! Continue the ritual until both (or all) partners have reached orgasm.
If you prefer working with a visualization:
Start with visualizing very vividly the new reality; see yourself in the desired situation, feel your happiness about it, visualize it as bright and detailed as you can. If you work for somebody else, for instance in case of a healing, visualize their joy and enthusiasm in the new situation. When your visualization is complete to your idea, tell your mind that this is your focus, then mentally store it in your subconscious. Start making love with your partner or masturbating, no longer thinking about the visualization. At the brink of orgasm back off, recall your visualization and breathe your orgasmic energy in it. Continue the rhythm of arousal and backing off several times. Just before orgasm recall the visualization from your mind and breathe/channel your orgasm into it.
Some words about orgasm
If you are a woman capable of having multiple orgasms (a series of orgasms quickly after one another), just enjoy, have them during the ritual and end with the final orgasm.
If you are a man, here’s the good news that men can learn to have multiples too; by coming close then backing off just before the point-of-no-return several times men can experience all the feelings of an orgasm without having an ejaculation. Some men have a series of small orgasms, some men experience them as bigger orgasms. If you can do this, end the ritual with final orgasm/ejaculation.
Not all men know that most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm; although there are erotic areas in the vagina most women need the pressure of the pubic bone of their partner against the clitoris or stimulation by hand during intercourse to have orgasm.
It was not my intent to go deeper into this, but I saw a T.V. program about the female orgasm explaining that many men don’t know where to locate the clitoris. In fact the clitoris is a tiny size female penis; it also swells during arousal and it is designed especially for female pleasure. You will find it where the inner lips meet at the top, it looks like a small knob and it desires the same soft caresses with hand (make it moist with some vaginal fluids), tongue or sucking as the male head of the penis.
Other not so well known female erotic zones are (but not as sensitive as the clitoris): 1) the G-spot, about 1,5 inch inside the vagina, on the front side, you’ll recognize it by the rougher texture than the rest of the vagina; when you stimulate this for a while first the woman often feels like urinating, but when she’s through this feeling this place will become very sensitive and enable her an orgasm with ejaculation 2) a spot more or less opposite the G-spot 3) the spot just above the opening of the urinary tube (just above the vagina).
After orgasm you may wish to confirm your magick with the words: “So mote it be” and to give thanks to God/the Goddess and your partner. It is important to stay close the first minutes after intercourse with your genitals close together. There are two reasons for this:
When having sex your charka open up and after orgasm you’re completely open with part of your energy swirling around you. You need some time to recollect it and get energized again. If one partner rushes away after orgasm you can feel very disappointed, lonely and exhausted because of this reason.
After sex magick the sexual fluids of man and woman are charged with their magical intent; they can etherically absorb this power for their well being and health through the vaginal walls and the head of the penis.
It may be clear that when you use a condom it is very unwise to stay close together with your genitals. The charged sexual fluids can be used to charge an amulet or talisman by smearing some of it on them; in case your ritual was for gaining money you can smear it on a coin or paper money you had put on your altar; you can redraw the lines of a sigil for this ritual with it, mix the fluid with wine and drink it with your partner, etc. In sex magick the charged sexual fluids have become the sacred elixir of life, and are in no way dirty. If however you are carrying a sexual transmittable disease it is best to skip this part.
When you are doing sex magick alone please know that your sexual fluids form a complete sacrament, although they now contain one polarity, not two. End the ritual with a banishment. The heightened energy of your ritual may have attracted astral beings. Make sure to keep them at a distance by reconfirming your banishment, like for instance a visualized circle of protection.
Spontaneous rituals
Sometimes your hormones are knocking; there is no time to prepare a ritual but still you wish to direct your sexual energy into magick.
Try this:
– quickly imagine a circle of protection
– imagine two burning candles as representation of any ritual space
– dedicate your energy to your spiritual development, with a mantra like “I open up for my full human potential” or magical word “open up”, or when you’re with a partner something like “I honor your divinity” or magical word “divinity”
– enjoy! and reconfirm the circle of protection.
The woman and her moon
The days before the menstruation a larger amount of hormones circulates in the female body, not only increasing her emotions but also her magical power. During menstruation this extra power leaves her body; this can give an extra dimension to the elixir, but please be very careful to only use this when the woman is in good health. After all menstruation is also a natural monthly cleaning period for her body. Not all women feel like having sex in this period. But those who do can feel strongly accepted in all their feminine aspects by having intercourse these days. Sexual union during the (pre)menstruation days can often relief the cramps many women experience during their period.
I have not read it in any book, but it’s quite logical that the day of ovulation is also an extreme powerful day for the woman, even apart from the fact that she can get pregnant then. It is her personal full moon – but don’t forget the condom, or do oral sex magick. If however you wish to conceive you can make this a special happening with a lovingly and carefully prepared sex magick ritual – and give your baby a very good start.
Solo sex magick
To many of us the word masturbation has a bad taste. It is said to be sinful and make you deaf, lame and blind (?) Let’s be honest and admit that almost all human beings masturbate since the discovery of their sexuality in childhood. Masturbation is a very good way to overall self-acceptance and respect for your body as an earthly home for your spirit. If you practice physical self-love this way I guarantee you a much greater feeling of satisfaction and calmness of mind then when you use it as a quick way to get rid of tension.
The above mentioned quote of Woody Allen makes me smile, but it contains truth: accepting and enjoying self-stimulation is making love with your inner lover.
After this intro it won’t surprise you that many sex magicians advice to start practicing sex magick with masturbation. It’s simply the best way to learn to know your body, to explore your individual reactions and learn how to prolong orgasm. Another reason is that it makes you independent of a partner; it is a powerful sex magick technique in itself. And this explains why most sex magickal acts are auto-erotic. The best known solo sex magick practice is one person raising magical energy by self-stimulation.
Another possibility is visualizing a god or goddess making love to you while you’re masturbating. Gods and goddesses personify important human characteristics and talents/qualities, or aspects of life in their pure form. We can imagine yourself in sexual union with a deity in case we wish to strengthen or emphasize these qualities in ourselves.
You may need help for a specific goal, for instance from a goddess of love, a god of healing or a god specialized in divination. If this is the case, start the ritual, arouse yourself and invoke the chosen god/goddess. Visualize the deity as vivid as you can with all your senses! Keep on repeating the name of your deity; at the moment of orgasm you channel the energy into your goal (something related to the deity).
You may wish the god’s help to improve certain qualities in yourself, let’s say intuition. In this case your ‘goal’ is projected inside yourself: while astral making love you absorb the divine energy which will help you manifest that same energy yourself. Build up as much energy as you can and climax. Thank and release the deity before you end the ritual! Working with a god/goddess can be intensely erotic. Deities are free from negative sexual conditioning, they will let go, and they bring along much energy.
Note: each deity has its own personality and they will bring it with during their love play. Therefore know who you invite. (A web site with useful information on myths and god/goddesses is www.cybercomm.net.) Working with deities is not something I would advice for beginning sex magicians.
You can even go further by invoking a god/goddess into your own body. Here you deliberately surrender your ego. You offer yourself completely for a higher purpose. You can work this deep and intense sex magick as described above. At the end thank and release the deity! Again: this is not for starting sex magicians. And never, never invoke an entity lower than a god/goddess/archangel into your body! A technique between solo and duo sex magick is this: one magician fully concentrates on the magical goal, while a supportive partner arouses him/her. After having explored auto-erotic sex magick first, this is a good way to smoothly ‘glide’ into working with a partner.
Sex magick with a partner
In partner sex magick the energy circulates and builds up between two people. To produce great effect it is best if both partners are more or less equally trained in sex magick, or truly willing to become so and practice a lot. Your partner should always know that you intent to do a sex magick ritual! – and agree with it! It is perfect to expand barriers in duo sex magick as long as you both feel comfortable with it. If for any reason something happens against your will immediately stop the ritual!
The commonly known technique of duo sex magick is having intercourse, be it with a partner of the opposite sex or of the same sex. Several magicians advice the position woman-on-top for sex magick; in this position the woman controls the depth and rhythm of penetration, she can get clitoral stimulation, and most men need more time to reach orgasm. All good reasons to use this position, but even more important is your personal preference. And you might wish to change positions as well; for this reason it is practical to place your symbol/sigil on different places in the room – or draw it with body paint on your partner’s body!
Intercourse positions can be seen as asana’s, yoga-positions, each having a specific way of freeing and directing energies. I came across some considerations on certain positions: The famous missionary position (man-on-top): here the charka’s of the partners are placed opposite each other and partners can look into each others eyes; this enhances intimacy, contact, healing and energy. A good position for a man to reach orgasm. This position is advised if you’re doing magick for a positive change in the man’s life.
An interesting variation for sex magick: still man-on-top, but the woman holds her legs together after penetration and does not move; only the man is active giving her his energy, she holds all this sexual energy and directs it into the universe. I would name this a good position to do magick for a mutual goal – or for something the woman wishes to realize.
Woman-on-top (cowgirl or camel-position): this woman-active position is good to do magick for a goal the woman wishes to realize. The woman gets more stimulation and the man tends to ejaculate later.
Woman-on-top-reversed (with her face looking at her partner’s feet): in this position there’s no eye-contact, but it can be very stimulating for both partners. A good position to do magick for a friend of the woman (she receives much of his energy and can direct it into the universe).
Side-to-side-positions: both partners are equally active/receptive; their charka are placed opposite each other and their eyes meet – what means a lot of contact and exchange of energies. Good for magick for a mutual goal.
Doggie-position (woman on her knees, or lying on her belly, and the man entering her from behind): many people like this position, because it brings up their wild, instinctive side. A highly energizing position, and good for sending energy to someone the man wants to send energy to.
Lotus-position (the man sits in lotus- or meditation-position with the woman on his lap, her legs around his waist and his arms on her shoulders): a highly meditation position with not much room to move but much contact between the charka’s, a very good position to use the ‘secret language’ consisting of male and female rhythmical internal movements with the pelvis muscles. A good position if your magick aims at spiritual development with slowly and steady built up energies, not really directed at a specific goal in the outside world. (for this aim also the side-by-side positions are very suitable).
Anal sex; this strongly brings up our wild and beastly side; while the man penetrates the woman he can stimulate her G-spot and/or clitoris. Good for highly energized sex magick.
Warning: I hate warnings, but I have to let you know that everything that has been in the anus – be it a finger, sex-toy, penis, whatever – has to be cleaned thoroughly before you can insert it into the vagina! Because the anus contains much bacteria which in absolute no way should be transmitted to the vagina, being the inside of a woman’s body, where they can cause very serious infections!
Another way of partner sex magick is using fellatio and cunnilingus, better known as ‘position 69′, being mutual oral sex. Visualize the energy reaching you through the mouth of your partner, entering your body at the genitals, moving up to your mouth and then leaving you to enter the genitals or your partner; in this way you visualize an increasing circle or energy.
Mutual oral sex magick is not suitable if you work with affirmations, but good if you work with sigil’s and visualizations.
Partners can agree to invoke a god or goddess into one of the partners, while the other partner keeps his or her human form. This is a strong way of adoring the divine core in your partner and it can be really special for both partners. The partner who will take on the god-form allows his or her mind to go blank, while the other partner invokes the god/goddess into his or her (it may be clear that you have to agree on the deity on beforehand).These rituals merely serve spiritual development; you normally don’t use them for a specific goal in the outside world, but both enjoy adoring the divinity in a sexual way.
In The Great Rite a god/goddess is invoked into both partners. This is for advanced sex magicians. The male magician invokes the goddess into the female magician (having her mind blank), and the female magician invokes the god into her partner (having made his mind blank) – or the other way around. Again this is sex magick for spiritual evolution, and it can be very intense and unusual.
Distance sex magick
For instance you live in London, your partner is on a business-trip in Tokyo and you want to do magick together. Agree (on the phone or email) on a goal, affirmation/visualization/sigil, time to start the ritual and approximate length of it (mind the different time-zones). Visualize a very big circle of protection, covering all the way from London to Tokyo. Then start masturbating, strongly visualizing your partner having sex with you, calling out his/her name from time to time and complete the ritual.
Group sex magick rituals
A group sex magickal act is not a kinky party; see it as a serious dedication of a number of people to a certain goal. The fact that magick works synergistic is a very good reason for a group to practice (sex) magick. No one in the world can demand you to ever do a sex magickal act against your will. But you may also consider that social behavior has taught us to regard our bodies and sexual expressions as being sinful – thus keeping us from showing our nudity and sexuality in public. So the big question I’d like to ask, and I don’t know the answer, is: how natural is the aversion of many people against group sex?
Group rituals are for advanced sex magicians. Every participant must know how to raise, control and direct energies. They must be determined to work magick with their sexuality; if their aim is to sexually freak out with many partners they will ruin the ritual. In a group ritual it is absolutely not possible to cross barriers, the group has to agree on possible borders on beforehand. If someone namely does something another member of the group feels uncomfortable with, the whole energy chain will be broken and the ritual will be worthless.
Generally spoken group rituals can follow the techniques described under solo and duo sex magick. They can be masturbator, in the form of having intercourse,or in the form of a large oral circle. Of course establishing an atmosphere of contact, trust and openness is very important within a group ritual. A group meditation, holding hands in a circle feeling the energy circulating, or maybe chanting a mantra together are very good to start with.
A larger group will have a leader, a person not participating in the ritual, but spiritually and magically guiding the group. The leader will do the banishments and take care of the timing and process of the ritual. This gives the group the opportunity to be completely sexually involved, raising enormous energy. The leader will from time to time ask the group to spread the raised energy amongst the group and to focus it into the direction of the chosen goal. The leader will also harmonize the energies by directing them with his will, and raising them if needed, from a place with much energy to a place within the group with less energy. And at the peak of the sexual energy the leader will ask the group to work towards orgasm and channel all their energy into the magical goal.
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