Advanced Bondages
Kúì (The Stake)
Back to the more serious stuff. Suspensions, especially advanced suspension bondages, may be demanding. But no bondage is respected more by the experienced Dorei than Kúì. Being tied to the stake is the most demanding bondage of all. Hence it is also the most intense scene – for various reasons – Nawashi and Dorei may ever enter into.
A stake-session is intense, long, starts slowly but will eventually reach every mental mountain top you can think of. And all this time the recipient knows the final crescendo will only happen AFTER the scene has been completed. Kúì scenes are very ritualistic and may reach a high level of spiritual experience.
So, let’s start at the beginning and lead you through the entire process.
A Kúì scene is pre-announced (as opposed to most other scenes) and very likely the Nawashi will allow the Dorei a day or two to mentally prepare herself for it. After a no doubt long and intense bathing ritual the recipient will be taken to the stake and tied in front of it, where she will be left alone for some time to worship it. The position here is irrelevant, but a kneeling position ties in nicely with the worshipping aspects of this part of the scene. The objective is preparation and to help the recipient meditate about the long scene, that is to follow.
When the Nawashi considers her to be ready, the recipient will be placed in a standing position, her back against the stake and still with very little rope tied to it.
Now – again slowly – the Nawashi will start to prepare the room, lighting candles for example and will very slowly undress the recipient. Undressing as such is often a ritual on its own, when it comes to Shibari, since much of it is often done while the recipient is in bondage. This means that frequently her clothes will be ripped apart or cut off piece by piece.
In the Kúì scene this is anything BUT a rough process. Instead, it will be done very slowly, carefully and highly erotic. Much like the Nawashi was slowly and carefully unpacking a gift, playing with her, fondling caressing and kissing her and occasionally adding a rope or two.
As a result, as she is slowly undressed, her body will be wrapped in more and more rope as time progresses. Although tied the recipient is very comfortable in this position and the initial ropes should first of all do their erotic work, although they will play another role later, so they should be tied correctly.
Some of them – around the lower legs and ankles, will be untied later and replaced by others as the scene progresses, so in this area they require less attention at this point. Most Nawashi will have started out with Emóno. At this point – since you need this support later – it will be a very good idea to tie suspension ropes to the Emóno windings and secure them to the ceiling. The will help support the recipient’s weight later in the scene.
This phase will end with bringing up the legs. 
This is where the essence of Kúì is: the recipient will be tied to the stake with no support for her feet. And that is what makes this bondage so demanding.
What it comes down to that you need to make sure the ropes that secure the body to the stake are tight enough to carry part of the weight. She is supposed to stay like this for quite a while, hence she needs support. While the tightness offers support, it also limits her ability to breathe, which is one of the reasons why this phase is so intense. She will be tied tighter and tighter (some Nawashi use sticks in between ropes, they can twist later to tighten the ropes, should this be necessary) while there is intense love and a lot of eroticism at the same time.
Bringing her up
There are two different ways to go about this. Some Nawashi will have the recipient stand on a stool or a crate that will be removed later. Others will now fold the legs upward and tie them in position. The choice is very personally determined, although folding the legs is a bit more demanding for the recipient.
Folding the legs will make her lower belly forward – i.e. will create an “exposed” position. Since – as a result of the weight pulling down – her breast are likely to be pushed out as well as the recipient this all will feel like she is sexually exposed, which of course is intentional.
It is very likely the undressing process has not yet been completed so, once she is “in position” the undressing will go on for a while and most Nawashi will take a few moment to just enjoy the view at this point (something you should do during every Shibari bondage session). This is also a good moment to allow the recipient to drink a bit, since there is more to come.
Now we are getting to the point where Kúì actually starts and the Nawashi will start to work towards the intense crescendo of love, pain, humiliation and bonding – the full scope of the terror – love paradox that only Shibari can bring about.
It will start with more sexual teasing and small teasing: pinching, pulling her nipples while at the same time kissing, caressing and loving her. The combination of the two is paramount. Never ever resort to pain only. If ever a giver said he could play his recipient like a violin, this is where he must – and needs – to do exactly that. You will want her endorphins to bring her to the deepest, most intense form of subspace she can reach.
Torment, tease and love. Stop and resume. The Nawashi doing this needs to be a skilled expert in using all the different signals and impulses he has, still without at any point being really cruel, because …… there is still more to come.
An inexperienced recipient may think she has already reached heights she has never reached before. During a first Kúì scene that is very, very likely to happen. Bear in mind that by now the entire scene (including preparation rituals) may have lasted several hours and you are only halfway – not so much in time, but you’re halfway to the real crescendo.
Now you’ll be getting to the point where the Nawashi will need to be brave, because he will need to ignore whatever signal his recipient is giving him. It is likely she’ll feel she cannot take anymore. If you are using safewords, it is likely she’ll be using it now. Whatever you do (yes, we are very aware of the impact of the following statement): IGNORE HER and set your own course!
Because you are now supposed to take her to even higher cliffs. Now it is time for the real pain crescendo. The Japanese Nawashi will do this by placing clamps or clothespins all over her body (saving the really tender sport for last of course), clamp her tongue, maybe even add wax play or Tsutsúki, all the time pushing her higher and higher until the point where she is about to explode.
And then – but only then, when her agony has reached its highest peak, he will press his body against her flesh, kiss and caress her passionately while taking off the clamps (usually by pushing them off with his own body).
Don’t be at all surprised if there is a spontaneous orgasm now, just as a result of the pain impulses. Even if the recipient has never experienced one before, it is very likely she will now.
The end of the ritual of course is predictable. The recipient will be released and there will be a very intense lovemaking scene. The ritual is draining and not only for the recipient. The emotional drain for the giver is just as intense, especially since this is all about risk taking – taking the recipient to higher and higher limits, pushing boundaries to their absolute maximum and especially having to ignore the recipient’s warning signals may be something, the average western dominant is not exactly used to.
Make sure the recipient gets something to drink now – she’ll need it badly and, by the time the two of you have recuperated a bit – now may be a good time to grab a bite to eat as well or enjoy a glass of wine. You have gone through an intense and very special ritual so there is a lot to celebrate and cherish.
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