Fan Letter of the Week:

Hello Kiko, I wrote to you about a year ago and I just wanted to write again and tell you that you still have one of the best sites on the net! And you have one of the most erotic and beautiful bodies that I have ever seen.

You know, each and every person has there own unique imagination, desires and fantasies relating to the world of kink and power exchanges. I thought I’d share with you a few of my thoughts if you have a few moments to read further. I am very turned on by the images that you have created in your website. I suppose it is a combination of seeing you wearing restraints, and your incredible physique, but also, I get a sense of incredible spirit in you. I get a sense that you really do have a love and true interest in kink and that you have the mind of an erotic artist. I picture you as someone who will entertain almost anything erotic in your mind. So, ready or not, I want to tell you about one of my erotic thoughts. I hope you will keep an open and erotic mind. I am a beekeeper. I have been raising bees since I was 12 years old and at age 45, I know honeybees as well as anyone could know them. (As a complete aside, I am a great lover of all animals, domestic and wild. Most animals, including wild, seem to trust me in an inexplicable way. Empathy, I suppose)

My honeybees are no exception. I own about 40 hives which all told, means that I have about one to two million bees during the course of a summer. There are two incredible things about honeybees which relate to erotic thoughts. One is that bees sting and the sting’s unique kind of pain, and the other is that honeybees are attracted like no other creature, to the most unique pheromones (smell) of the queen bee. If you handle queen bees as I do, you will know this incredible attraction that I speak of. I compare the attraction of erotic images to the attraction that the honeybee has to a queen’s pheromones. Both are powerfully erotic. I often think about erotic images such as a beautiful honeybee resting on a perfect nipple, etc. But what is an incredible turn on for me are thoughts of using a woman’s body to “paint” landscapes of honeybees using pheromones. Imagine, if you will, the invisible scent of a queen bee covering your hands because you have just handled a young queen bee.

If you move near a hive, sooner or later, bees will become very attracted to your hands. I promise you Suki that the pheromone of a honeybee is about one thousand times stronger than the most erotic perfume that man has ever developed. The attraction is just remarkable and the younger the queen bee, the better. I know this from from a first hand love of perfume and a woman’s own natural scent and the behavior of honeybees. They will be very gentle with you but they will insist on exploring your hands with the greatest of interest. Try as you might to gently shake them lose, thet are irresistably drawn to your hands. (I have NEVER seen such intense interest from a man to a woman!) Now if I were to reach out and touch a naked breast,(yours lets say for the erotic sake of argument), the invisible odor would be transfered and the bees would take great interest in your breasts.

If you could bear it, and I somehow think you could, you would find many bees landing on you with great interest, all of these bees would be as gentle as lambs. You would not be stung evan though you would start to become the center of interest for many bees. I have this incredible fantasy of seeing erotic images of a woman with honeybees on her naked body. If I just touched the very tips of your breasts, this is where the bees would take interest. Imagine two little swarms of bees exploring your nipples without being stung. Last but not least, I can tell you as someone who is stung a few hundred times a year (all by accident!), no two bee stings are the same. And if you get stung as many times as I do, you will not look apon the pain of a bee sting as most people do. In fact, it is my opinion that a bee sting offers a very erotic pain, and afterwards, it offers a wonderful warmth and in fact, a feeling of deep internal health. Many of my beekeeping friends have lived well into their nineties. I have often though how erotic it would be to sting a woman who is restrained. I’m sure that all of what I just wrote to you will either seem like tripe and rubbish, or it may be of great amusement, or it may just strike a deep chord in you. I know how erotic bee stings and pheromones can be.

Besides being a pretty normal person with a professional job, you now know just one of my many erotic thoughts. By the way, just for your imagination, most beekeepers are not nerds or old men! I am a very thin, and a strong young man, 6’3″ tall and I could lift your young body off the ground and carry it for many miles before I would become tired! I will admit though that you could melt me with the sight of your body. Don’t worry, I’ll recover. If I ever can be of service, I hope you will be in touch! I really do mean this. I am a very interesting and interested person and quite free to express myself. I hope I have sparked your imagination just a little bit. I also work for a large photo/video equipment supplier in Cambridge, Mass. so let me know if I can be of service in this way too! (Not to sound like a jerky salesman. I just simply mean that if you need anything, I may be able to help.)

Anyways, thank you for your web site, Keep it up!

G. M. Gloucester, Mass.

THIS is TRUE by Randy Cassingham

WILDLIFE CONSERVATION: Long considered a pest by ranchers, the prairie dog is fast becoming a prestigious pet in Japan. The rodents fetch $30 for those who catch them; by the time they are purchased by Japanese consumers the price is around $200. Ranchers in Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas are happy to see the critters go, but the State of Colorado says none of their prairie dogs may be exported for use as pets. “You cannot give away or sell any species of wildlife,” says a Division of Wildlife spokesman. “They belong to the public.” However, because of their “pest” status, it is perfectly legal in Colorado to shoot, poison or drown prairie dogs. (UPI) …Coloradans will vote later whether the same rule should apply to state wildlife officials. INEFFECTIVE CAMOUFLAGE: Students at Douglas County High School in Castle Rock, Colo., are protesting a photograph of an assistant principal that a student serving detention apparently stole from the administrator’s desk. It shows him on a hunting trip, standing naked over an antelope he had just shot. A rifle hides his genitals. “It’s not right. It’s sick,” complained one female student. “We want the parents to know who’s controlling us when we’re in the school five days a week, seven hours a day or whatever,” agreed another. (Denver Post) …Parents need not be concerned: hunting is perfectly legal.

ART FOR ART’S SAKE: Mark DelVecchio was upset when he found out that his 10-year-old daughter’s school bus was routed past a 15-foot-tall replica of Michelangelo’s nude “David” statue. He called her Shelton, Conn., school and complained, and the bus was re-routed so she wouldn’t have to see it anymore. “A lot of people think I’m ridiculous,” DelVecchio said, “but you’ve got to remember how tall a school bus is. The view you actually get from the bus window is from the navel down. If they were looking at the guy’s face, it would’ve been a different story.” (AP) …Shame on Michelangelo for not equipping David with a rifle.

ROCKET SCIENTIST: David Silverstein, 13, was inspired to build a model rocket after seeing the movie “October Sky”, a biography of NASA rocket scientist Homer Hickam. The boy took his rocket, made out of a potato chip canister and fueled with three match heads, to his Glendale, Ariz., school, where it was found in a search of his locker. School officials classified the toy as a “weapon” and suspended him for the rest of the year based on its “zero-tolerance” weapons policy. The police were also called, and the case is being referred to juvenile authorities. (Arizona Republic) …How the U.S. lost its leadership in technological innovation — one in a long series.

MAJOR HANGUP: A telemarketing executive says people in Maryland are too nice to work for his company. The phone sales firm opened up an office in Frostburg, a coal mining town of 8,100 people with high unemployment. But the people in the town aren’t aggressive enough to do phone sales, says Unitel vice president Ken Carmichael. “The culture and the climate in western Maryland is one of helping your neighbor and being empathetic and those sorts of things,” he complained. The company is closing down the Frostburg office and moving 100 jobs to Florida, where there is presumably a more pushy workforce. (AP) …The public appreciates that: it’s easier to hang up on jerks.

HEADING INTO BATTLE: The NATO military strikes against President Slobodan Milosevic’s Yugoslavian regime have led to another conflict — among British newspapers. The tabloids are all trying to win circulation battles by coming up with the largest, most outrageous headlines possible to sell papers. “Onslaught” roared the Daily Mail. The Sun countered with “Clobba Slobba” while the Daily Star bannered “Serbs You Right”. (Reuters) …Puns are the lowest form of warfare.

THINK AND SIT, NOT VICE VERSA: Civilian employees at the Seattle (Wash.) Police Department have been ordered to undergo special training after two people in the department’s fingerprint and photo unit slid off their chairs and fell on the floor. While the classes in remedial chair-sitting were being organized, a supervisor circulated a memo on how to sit. “Take hold of the arms and get control of the chair before sitting down,” the memo advises. “Some people know how to sit in a chair,” said department safety officer Patrick Sweeney, while others “need some instruction.” (AP) …Apparently, they’re the same people that need to be shown how to work the seatbelt buckle on airplanes.

BEST SELLER: Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s book “Kosher Sex” raised some eyebrows when it advised husbands to sexually satisfy their wives “until [she's] screaming the deity.” The London, England, rabbi’s new book “Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments” will probably bring about a similar reaction. Boteach says the Ten Commandments — “the most famous guide to living ever devised” — “lend themselves to the rules of relationships.” (Reuters) …You only really need one rule: do others as you would have others do you.

CAN’T MAKE THE GRADE: “Students Say Class Too Hard, File Suit” — Reuters headline

TODAY’S MAIL brought a copy of the third edition of a college textbook, “Computers in Your Future”. It has a brief case study on one new trend enabled by the Internet, e-mail publishing, using “This is True” as its example. I’m gratified to note that the authors got the details correct! And it concludes: “Randy is not alone in using the Internet to reach an online audience, nor is ‘This is True’ the only newsletter being distributed via email. He is, however, one of the most successful. New online publishers are springing up every week, and the market for online newsletters is growing rapidly. Randy Cassingham, and publishers like him, represent a new type of publisher which we will see more of in the future.” It has been interesting to notice lately that I get more interview requests these days from book authors than magazine writers!

THAT SAID, Salon Magazine did a story last week on some of the new services popping up that are offering free e-mail list hosting, and I was interviewed for that. I’m biased (since they’re a consulting client of mine), but I think the newest entrant in the field, Topica (at www.topica.com) is the best of the bunch. The Salon article is online at <http://www.salonmagazine.com/21st/feature/1999/03/25feature.html>

THIS WEEK’S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Henry V. Graham. In 1963, when Alabama Gov. George Wallace literally stood in the doorway to block black students from attending the University of Alabama, Graham, a National Guard general, ordered him aside. “He will always be known as the man who stood Governor Wallace down at the school house door,” said E. Culpepper Clark, a dean at the University. “Graham was a very cool man under fire, and he could be counted on.” Graham served in the Army in World War II and Korea, and earned a Legion of Merit, the Bronze Star with Oak Leaf Cluster and the Bronze Arrowhead. He died March 21 in Birmingham, Alabama, at age 82.

Jokes of the Week The Lessons of Childhood…

~No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats. ~When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. ~If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
~Reading what people write on desks can get you through the test. ~Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. ~Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac. ~Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time. ~School lunches stick to the wall. ~You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. ~Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. ~The best place to be when you are sad is with your dog. ~It’s impossible to unlearn a bad word. ~It’s easier to see the mistakes on someone else’s paper. ~A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen. ~Sometimes your best move is blocked by your own checkers. ~Never say “Last One is a Rotten Egg” unless you’re absolutely sure someone is slower than you. ~If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. ~Your room gets smaller as you get bigger. ~You can’t start over just because you’re losing the game. ~A snow day is more fun than a vacation day. ~All libraries smell the same. ~If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it. ~Sometimes you have to take the test before you’ve finished studying. ~If you throw a ball at someone, they’ll probably throw it back. ~Don’t nod on the phone. ~You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.

Real Court Transcripts:

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.

Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.