Fan Letter Of The Week:
Dearest Kiko,
I’ve just found this site and was so pleased to find you!! Let me tell you something about myself. My name is Paul, I’m a carpenter, male, 29 years old, 6’2″ tall and 180lbs with dark hair an athletic build and horny for a online affair which hopefully leads to something more!! I’d really hope that I’m going to make you hot with my words. On to what I would like to do to/with you. I think I would invite you to a picnic in the forest. It would be a lovely warm summer’s day. You would be wearing a flimsy summer outfit, while I would be in a sexy pair of shorts. After the picnic we would be feeling a bit relaxed due to the wine and would like to catch a few rays. So you would slip off your outfit and I would rub in some sunscreen to protect your lovely body. I would start off at your shoulders, working my way down your back and onto to your perfectly formed arse. Then on down your legs, I would start at your ankles and work up over your calves, the back of your knees onto your back of your legs then my hands would start to find the softness of the inside of your thighs.
You let out a soft moan of pleasure, my hands move slowly up the inside of your thigh to your pussy. I pour on some more sunscreen to your arse and it starts to drip down your crack onto your pussy. I then start rubbing it in over your arse and then my finger touches your moist pussy. I can’t help it; I slip it in followed by another and then I start to finger fuck you. By which time you are moaning and telling me that you want it harder. So I insert another and my thumb is rubbing against your arsehole. I move round so that my cock is by your mouth and you straight away start sucking on it. I then push my oiled thumb into your arsehole; you let out a huge moan of pleasure and suck on me even harder.
I pull my fingers out and slide under you, with you still sucking on my cock. But now I can flick my tongue over your clit, I insert my fingers from one hand into your warm pussy and this time my other fingers are free so they work one at a time at your arsehole. Just imagine, you have your mouth filled with my cock, your pussy filled with my fingers, a finger or two in your arsehole and my tongue flicking away on your clit. How does that sound? With my fingers fucking your pussy, arse and my tongue on your clit it is all too much, you pull my cock from your mouth and you cum. You are now wanking my cock and telling me to cum. With me still finger fucking both your holes through your orgasm, you are mad for it. It’s not long before your face is covered with my cum. You lick my cock clean and move down so that your pussy is above my still throbbing cock.
In one move you push down and you are taking my full length. Up and down you go I grab at your tits and tweak your nipples. I can feel your wetness as it runs onto my balls. I grab your arse and pull and push it on my cock. I then stick two fingers up your arse and you don’t stop your movement if anything it’s faster. I rub at your clit and in no time you cum. With that you lift up, grab hold of my cock, position your arsehole over my cock and push down slowly. When I am ball deep in your tight arse, you start to fuck me and with that I knew I wouldn’t last long so I moved up to meet your thrusts. Faster and faster until I couldn’t hold on any longer I shout out that I am going to cum. You then tell me to cum in your arse.
As we are at full speed, I empty the contents of my balls deep up your arse. I then pull out and piss in your mouth and all over your tits and just as I am pissing all over your sweaty body you see someone watching us and find it so horny that it makes you cum again. Who is it?? Looking forward to receiving a reply and photo.
~ Paul
THIS is TRUE by Randy Cassingham
HEY BROTHER, CAN YOU SPARE AN ATM CARD? An advocate for the homeless in San Francisco, Calif., has proposed that the city’s panhandlers be equipped to accept credit cards. The “Benevolending Box Program” would give credit card readers to street beggars to help them accept donations from passersby. The program is an “innovative plan, which empowers homeless persons to take responsible action for their lives,” said an enthusiastic Mayor Willie Brown. “It’s more than a Band-Aid solution,” says Karen Gatter, who thought up the program. (Reuters) …The American Express Card: Don’t Be Homeless Without It. WARNING: NO WARNINGS AVAILABLE: Anthony Avellino says he will fight a $1,000 citation for “destruction, defacement or torment of a tree” after his two daughters and a friend climbed a Japanese Pine in New York’s Central Park. The three girls, aged 9 to 11, knocked several small branches from the tree when they climbed it, park rangers said. There were no warning signs to keep kids from climbing the trees. “There are lots of things that you cannot do in parks that are not posted,” a Parks Department spokesman said. “If we listed every rule, we’d have more signs than trees.” (AP) …There’s a rule against secret rules, but that rule’s existence has never been revealed.
MEDAL ROUND: The U.S. Department of Defense has announced a new citation for military and civilian government personnel who “served both faithfully and honorably during the Cold War era,” which is defined as being between Sept. 2, 1945, and Dec. 26, 199l. Such employees will be able to apply for the Cold War Recognition Certificate over the Internet, by fax or through the mail, and must merely provide their name, social security number and date of service to receive it. (UPI) …Forget that: how do they apply for the Cold War Purple Heart?
LEGAL CLARITY: In an attempt to make its indecent exposure law clear, Manatee County, Fla., has ruled that women cannot expose more than three-quarters of their breasts in public. And men and women can expose no more than two-thirds of their buttocks. But the concept has left sheriff deputies wondering how to judge the level of a person’s exposure. “I don’t think we’ll be tape-measuring,” a sheriff’s spokesman said. “It would have to be well beyond what the ordinance said, like naked.” (Reuters) …Women are thus safe to expose one entire breast, unless the other has been lost to cancer, except on alternate Tuesdays, the entire month of January, and Groundhog Day.
BUY BUY LOVE: Japan’s Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. says it has the solution for the country’s aging, lonely population. The robopet, which will be widely available by 2001, “smiles and delivers verbal greetings when touched,” a spokesman says, or it can decide for itself when to initiate “conversations.” It even simulates emotion. “Its eyes are composed of a liquid crystal display panel so the robot can smile at you or … simulate sleepy eyes.” The mechanical cat, tiger or bear can also be programmed to phone and alert relatives if the owner suffers “a long period of silence.” Matsushita says the 500,000 yen (US$4,200) machines are a major advance. “In the past, robots like this could only mimic the motions of real animals solely for the purpose of entertainment.” (AFP) …Now they can deplete grandma’s bank account, too.
FUNNY, YOU DON’T LOOK INTELLIGENT: Arizona State Rep. Barbara Blewster has apologized to a colleague after telling her she didn’t look Jewish. When Rep. Barbara Leff excused herself to attend a Passover function, Blewster told her, “You can’t be Jewish. You don’t have a big hooked nose.” Blewster later said she has “no prejudice at all. I admire the Jews,” but was “flabbergasted that my enjoyable, private conversations with my friends in the Legislature are getting in the newspaper.” (AP) …”The sacrifices of friendship were beautiful in her eyes as long as she was not asked to make them.” –Saki [H. H. Munro] (1870-1916), Scottish author.
THAT DOODOO THAT YOU DO SO WELL: Mexico City’s health department has a new target in its fight against air pollution: dogs. They say that the district’s 1.2 million dogs deposit 120,000 tons of feces per year on the streets and parks. When it dries, it enters the air and accounts for some of the smog problem. However, the health department has not proposed any new laws, since current laws aren’t enforced anyway. (Reuters) …That has never stopped legislators in the U.S.
UNFAIR ADVANTAGE: Jackie Bevins is well known in the small town of Ogunquit, Maine, partly because of the publicity over her trial for murder after shooting her husband 15 times, pausing twice to reload, in 1990. She was acquitted by a jury which accepted her “battered wife” defense. What to do with such infamy? Bevins ran for a seat on the town’s Board of Selectmen. And won. (UPI) …She’ll do well: who would dare oppose her?
AHOY THERE: When the mutineers from the H.M.S. Bounty fled Tahiti, they hid out on remote Pitcairn Island and were not discovered for 18 years. But the island’s legendary remoteness, long embraced by the mutineers’ descendants, may soon be a thing of the past. The colony’s governor, Martin Williams, says construction of an airport linking the island with French Polynesia may be started within a year, and air service would end “the sense of isolation and the sense of remoteness” the islanders feel. (AFP) …So would relocation to Los Angeles.
ADDING INSULT TO INJURY, ADVANCED DIVISION: “Woman Hit Twice By Same Car in 24 Hours” — Reuters headline
WOW. There must be a real untapped market for stories about Heroic people! I hope you noticed the announcement in this space last week about my new project: true stories of real-life “heroism”, which I define rather simply as stories of people helping others without any thought of getting something in return. Of course, doing that at risk to one’s self, or doing something that costs money, or causes some sort of hardship, counts extra. “HeroicStories” wasn’t even announced to the Free TRUE distribution until Friday night, but there are already 5000 subscribers in 52 countries! And the project doesn’t even launch until May 1! So first, if you missed the announcement, please go check out the new web site at http://www.HeroicStories.com and subscribe so you can get the first issue. And, while there are more subscribers than I would have expected at this point, I have *fewer* story submissions than I hoped for. I do NOT want newspaper stories! I want YOUR stories about people you know, or people that did something for you. The web site has submission guidelines (or you can get them by sending a blank e-mail to Guidelines@HeroicStories.com). The web site also has a sample story so you can get the idea. I think it would be great to help give a hero from your life a bit of publicity.
THIS WEEK’S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Sam Shaw. An artist starting as a young boy, when he would scrape tar off the street and sculpt animals out of it. As a teen, he switched to paint; as an adult, his preferred medium was film: he joined Colliers magazine as a photojournalist in the 1940s, documenting life in the United States. Later, he became known as a cover photographer for Time and Life magazines. But likely his most famous images is the photograph he took of Marilyn Monroe standing over a subway grate, her skirt billowing up to her waist. Shaw died April 5 in Westwood, N.J., at age 87.
Joke of the Week:
A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. “Well, sister, this looks pretty grim.” “I know, father.” “In fact, I don’t think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two.” “I agree.” “Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?” “Anything father.” “I have never seen a woman’s breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.” “Well, under the circumstances I don’t see that it would do any harm.” The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. “Sister would you mind if I touched them?” She consented and he fondled them for several minutes. “Father, could I ask something of you?” “Yes, sister?” “I have never seen a man’s penis. Could I see yours?” “I supposed that would be OK,” the priest replied lifting his robe. “Oh father, may I touch it?” The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection. “Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life.” “Is that true father?” “Yes, it is, sister.” “Then why don’t you stick it up that camel’s ass and lets get the hell out of here.”