THIS is TRUE by Randy Cassingham
A weekly column of oddities from around the world

WE THE PEOPLE: A survey released for Independence Day in the U.S. shows that Americans cherish their freedoms. The poll, conducted by Vanderbilt University’s First Amendment Center, found the most important Constitutional right to Americans is the freedom of speech, followed by the freedom of religion and the right to bear arms. But when asked to name any of the guarantees in the Constitution’s First Amendment (freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of the press, the right to peaceably assemble and the right to petition the government for the redress of grievances), 49 percent could not name even one. Worse, 53 percent said the press has “too much freedom”, and 45 percent thought the government ought to have the power to approve stories that newspapers publish, up from 20 percent just two years ago. (AP) …”Ignorance, forgetfulness, or contempt of the rights of man are the only causes of public misfortunes and of the corruption of governments.” –Declaration of the Rights of Man (French National Assembly, 1791).

CRACKED UP: Facing racketeering charges, a reputed mafia operative was granted a court order to compel the government to state whether or not it inserted a radio tracking device in his rear end. “We can confirm that the U.S. DEA did not implant a tracking device in defendant Vincent M. ‘Gigi Portalla’ Marino’s buttocks,” said a prepared statement by U.S. Attorney Donald Stern. Apparently amused by the order, the statement, issued in response to the order Marino requested from U.S. District Judge Nathaniel Gorton, added, “we cannot speak, however, for any extraterrestrial beings.” (AP) …The tabloid version’s headline: “Feds Admit Planting Bugs in Space Aliens”.

POPPING WHEELIES FOR THE LORD: The Sons of God Motorcycle Club Ministry has won its lawsuit against the Chosen Sons of God Motorcycle Club Ministries. In their federal trademark infringement suit, the party of the first part accused the party of the second part of misappropriating its “Sons of God Christ-head logo”. Judge Michael Merz ordered the Chosen Sons not to use the logo, but apparently didn’t award the Sons of God any monetary damages. The plaintiffs’ lawyer, Aaron Durden, said the case wasn’t “necessarily” about money, despite asking for $500,000 in the suit. “Whoever owns that symbol is able to walk amongst these bikers and preach the gospel,” he said. (UPI) …”You shall not make for yourself an idol.” –Deuteronomy 5:8.

IT’S LEGISLATED, NOT EARNED: Louisiana schoolchildren are now required by state law to respect their teachers. Students must address all school employees as “ma’am” or “sir”, or appropriately address them with a courtesy title (Mr., Mrs., Miss or Ms.) “It’ll make a difference. It becomes habitual,” insists Gov. Mike Foster. But eighth-grader Asia Ayman of New Orleans begs to differ: “Kids don’t respect their parents at home. What makes them think they’re going to go to school and respect their teachers?” (AP) …A comment that shows the appropriate amount of respect for state politicians.

AUTOMATIC PRISON TERM: Larry Donnell “Freaky L” Baldwin, 23, is accused of carjacking. “He told the woman he had a gun,” said a spokeswoman for the Chapel Hill, NC, police. The driver ran into a store and called 911 after the thief jumped into the driver’s seat. His getaway was slowed, however, by his apparent inability to drive a stick shift. He finally got the hang of it by the time police arrived. He led officers on a chase, but promptly lost control and crashed. Baldwin has been charged with assault, robbery and eluding arrest. (Raleigh, NC, News & Observer) …Cellmates will surely give him a new nickname: “Shiftless”.

ENTRANCED: “Right now, any person can just hang out a sign that they are a hypnotherapist and there are no requirements for the protection of the public,” complains Dwight Damon, president of the National Guild of Hypnotists. The Guild is lobbying for state laws requiring licensing of hypnotists. (AP) …Do NOT look the lobbyist in the eyes!

SLICK JOEY: Former Exxon Valdez oil tanker captain Joseph Hazelwood, who was at the helm when it dumped 260,000 barrels of oil in Alaska’s Prince William Sound, has started the community service aspect of his sentence for “negligent discharge of oil”. Hazelwood will work 1,000 hours at the Beans Cafe, a kitchen that serves Anchorage’s poor and homeless. (Reuters) …Where he seems to have a knack at mixing salad dressing.

CRIME WAVE: Police in San Diego, Calif., arrested Nicholas Anthony Vitalich, 24, after he reportedly hit his girlfriend several times with a 10-pound tuna. “People will use whatever weapon they have available. In this case it was a fish,” a police spokesman said. Two weeks later, commercial fisherman Anthony Scott Tucker, 37, was arrested by San Diego Harbor Police after allegedly hitting a customer with a 20-pound tuna. The victim was treated for broken bones and a concussion. Both men could face felony assault charges. (AP, Reuters) …And if either victim dies, they could face charges of death with a salty weapon.

SAY IT WITH FLOWERS: “Wife Stabs Husband After He Brings Her Bouquets” — Reuters headline

THIS WEEK’S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Aubrey Keel. Believed to be the last living Associated Press telegrapher, Keel spent his working day manually sending news down the AP wire by Morse Code. Telegraphers along the wire would decode the stories for printing in local newspapers. About 1500 telegraphers worked for the service over an 80 year span. They were replaced by teletypes in 1928, but Keel stayed on with the AP, serving as the communications chief for several bureaus. Keel died July 2 at age 97.

FAN LETTER OF THE WEEK:
Kiko;
I know you haven’t responded to me “in person” yet, but I thought I’d tell you a story anyway, and express again my interest in exchanging some hot email. This is a true story. It happened only a few weeks ago, and I still get hard when I think of it. I’m a professional person. Many times I have to go to black tie dinners, for this cause ot that. I was at one that I really didn’t want to be at…and I was sitting at a table with people I didn’t know. Seated to my right was an average looking young lady; attractive, bot not a model like you. She exuded a certain sexiness, however, if you know what I mean. She was at the dinner with a date, but that didn’t keep us from talking alot.

One of the things that we talked about were local area bars, and my favorite watering hole. I guessed that she was 21 or 22. She turned out to be 24, and, I learned later, had very long dark hair that was apparently pushed way up and hidden at the dinner. Three days later, who should show up at my favorite bar but the young lady. She was out, and thought she would stop by and see if I was there. We grabbed a table, and talked for a couple of hours about her job, her date at the dinner, and a vacation she was going to take. I offered her a ride home. When we got to her apartment, she told me to find a parking space and come in. Inside, we talked some more, and she told me that she was experienced at sex, but only with guys her age…and she wasn’t sure whether she was missing anything. We talked openly about sex…and she wanted to know what my attitude was toward sex AT MY AGE (like I was an old man!).

I told her that at 48 I was as horny as ever, and enjoyed sex even more. She said that she might be able to learn a few things about sex from me, and stood and asked if it was okay if she showed me her body. ALRIGHT…she had my attention! She very slowly…and very erotically took off her clothes. She was a little thin, but was very shapely…with small tits, that seemed to be just the right size for her, and very hard and very erect nipples. She also had a great ass (which I like). She had very light colored skin, and her nipples and pussy really stood out against her skin. I sat her down on a sofa chair, had her lift her legs up in th air, and started to lick her pussy. She was wet, and had a great clit. She tasted great.

For almost an hour, I brought her to the edge several times, using my tongue, fingers, and some toys that she had. But…I would not let her cum. I love to lick pussy! She seemed very much at ease, enjoying being turned on, and it was actually fairly easy to bring her to the point of orgasm again and again. She asked if she could cum for me…but I wouldn’t let her cum. I stood and took my clothes off while she watched and fingered herself. Now I’m reasonably well-hung, with 8 plus inches. It was hard, and it was the biggest cock she had ever seen. For a long time she just looked at it. Then she leaned forward in the chair and took my cock in her hand. It was like a shot of electricity to my cock. She stroked my cock, looking at it, and told me to sit on the chair. She spread my legs, put her lips up by the head of my cock and slowly started to lick it. She licked it all over, and then started to suck on it. I had to stop her or I was going to cum. I had her stand and kneel on the sofa chair, with her ass facing me. I put two and three fingers in her pussy which was very wet.

After about ten ninutes, I thought I’d see what she liked, and slowly moved a well lubricated finger up to her asshole. I just touched her asshole a little, and she let out a huge moan that let me know that she liked it. She looked back at me and said that no one had ever touched her there before, that she liked it, and was surprised at how sensitive her asshole was. I continued to “finger fuck” her in her pussy while just touching and stroking her asshole, while she moaned and groaned and begged me to fuck her. I had her get on the floor on her hands and knees, and I slowly put my cock inside her wet, now dripping wet, pussy. She was so wet, that her juices ran down the inside of her thighs as I pushed my cock inside her. I fucked her “doggie” for a long time, slowly and then hard, and she was thoroughly enjoying it. I took my finger and touched her asshole again, and again got a great reaction.

While I fucked her. I slowly started to slide one finger in her asshole. she arched her back, giving me her ass, and groaned real loud and said, “oh God! Oh God! over and over. When I got to the point where one finger slid in easily, I started with two fingers in her ass. She was now making “animal” noises, and was shuddering and shaking. She looked back at me with the most erotic, lustful look I’ve ever seen. Her eyes were half closed….her voice low and husky. The look almost made me cum. She said, “fuck me in the ass, now”. She didn’t have to ask twice. When I was sure she was relaxed and well lubricated, I put the tip of my cock against her asshole and pushed slowly. It took a minute, but it slid in. When it did, she took a deep, sharp breath, moaned and said, “go slow, please go slow”. I did go slow,but gradually slid my cock in further and further, until, after several minutes, she was taking all of me. And, she was so very tight. I started to increase the tempo…and she started to really get it on. She arched her back, shook her head (and all that hair) back and forth, shudderd, shook, said “yes! Yes! a few hundred times, and started to make “animal” sounds (which turns me on even more!). I was going faster and as deep as I could. She looked back at me with a look of lust…just lust.

She was sweating…her whole body was sweating. She was able to say, “don’t stop”, and “fuck my ass”, but mostly she was saying words that couldn’t be understood. She was fingering herself, when I felt her suddenly arch her back and start to shake. She looked at me and tried to speak…her mouth formed words but nothing came out. She grabbed the feet of the chair, and shook and shook, with her eyes rolling back in her head. She collapsed on her face and tits, with her ass pointing up in the air, and I let my cock slip out of her ass. She breathed heavily and moaned as I played softly with her asshole and pussy. I held her for a while, playing with her nipples, rolling them between my thumb and first finger. She told me that it was the most intense orgasm she had ever had, that at the end when she was cuming, she tried to scream with pleasure, but nothing would come out of her mouth, that she had not planned to have sex with me, but was very glad that she did, and that she had thought about anal sex before, but never thought that she would try it or even like it.

We showered, so that each of us was squeaky clean. After drying off, it was back on the chair for me, and for what seemed like an eternity she sucked and licked my cock. In an unusual display of “revenge”, she would not let me cum. Finally, she said that if I could guess the number she was thinking of, she would let me cum. I guessed right! Lucky guess! Then she told me that if I picked the number she was thinking of, I could cum anywhere I wanted. I guessed right again! Amazing! I told her that I wanted to cum on her face. She went to work, and I thought I was going to die. She knew how to suck cock! My orgasm was intense. I came and came and came on her face and lips. I fucked her again that night, and again the next morning. Kiko, I hope that by now your pussy is all wet, and that when you masturbate tonight or tomorrow, you’ll be thinking of me and have a great orgasm!