Two Squeezes Means I’m OK

Sometimes the dominant will want to check the submissive’s condition without asking a somewhat-mood-disturbing question like “Are you OK?” (After all, they’re “tormenting” the submissive.)

Also, sometimes submissives “go under” so deeply that they have trouble speaking. As one put it, “It’s hard for me to swim far enough back up to answer questions verbally.” The dominant therefore needs a non-verbal way of asking the submissive “Are you OK?”

I invented the “two squeezes” technique, and I’ve found it works well. To use the technique, the dominant places their hand on the submissive’s body and gives two firm and noticeable (but not painful) squeezes. The dominant usually does this by grasping the submissive’s hand, but also can use other places such as the wrist, shoulder, or thigh. ( I suggest avoiding the breasts and genitals.) The two squeezes ask “are you OK?”

The submissive replies that they are OK by giving two squeezes in return. Note : The dominant can learn a lot about the submissive’s state if mind by noting how the submissive returned the squeezes. Two quick, brisk squeezes show that the submissive is alert and “in the room with you.” Two long, slow squeezes show that the submissive is OK but “deep under.”

If the submissive is in a position that makes it difficult for them to squeeze in return, they could answer by opening and closing their fist twice. They also could answer by nodding their head twice, by pointing their foot twice, or by sending another non-verbal signal.

(By the way, an experienced submissive who is” teaching from below” can also use this technique to check in with a novice dominant.)

What if you squeeze and don’t get two squeezes in return? The first action you should take, particularly if the preceding play has been intense, is wait. (Don’t give any more pain.) Remember that it sometimes takes a submissive a while to “swim back up” far enough to answer. It also sometimes takes a while for them to realize that their dominant asked them a question and they must reply. (Remember, sometimes submissives go so deeply under that they experience themselves as having melted or dissolved.)

If you’ve waited about thirty seconds and haven’t received “return squeezes, “give two more, slightly stronger, squeezes. If the submissive doesn’t respond to these new squeezes after about thirty seconds, check in with them in a more verbal, direct manner. Ask them a question like, “how are you doing?” or “what’s going on?” Make sure of their condition before you proceed.

The “two squeezes” techniques usually works extremely well. It provides a simple, workable way for both parties to communicate that they are all right, without either having to “break the mood” verbally.