Erotic power exchange is full of its own special lingo. We’ll try to avoid it as much as we possibly can here but there are some basics you need to know. The partner in charge is usually called dominant, dom, domme, top or master and sometimes the active partner. The other partner is usually either […]

Although quite often spoken about, actually there are no real secret codes around. Or at least if there are any…they really are secret! So what we’ll be doing in this section is writing about a few of the code signals sometimes used by various members of the fetish community. These aren’t really secret, but some […]

 Successful BDSM Dating – The Key Factors Although there is no real statistical evidence, experience from support groups and “community watchers” indicates that as much as fifty percent of the BDSM-dating attempts fail, either as early as during the initial dating process or in the early stages of what was supposed to grow to a […]

Generally speaking, an erotic power exchange scene is not more dangerous than any other form of sex, provided you take sufficient precautions. Safe sex is a must, and not only from an HIV point of view. Condoms Always use a condom when penetrating, either vaginal or anal. Using condoms when having oral sex is generally […]

Roughly speaking there are basically two main styles in the world: Western and Japanese (oriental or Shibari if you like). Both are covered extensively. The main difference between the two is in the pretty straight forward restraining function, with a few erotic streaks, that usually characterizes Western style and the multi-layered, spiritual approach of Japanese […]

How Can I Learn To Be A Good Bottom? It can also be hard to learn to bottom, if what you’re used to is topping. Giving up control, surrendering, can be a difficult thing, when you’re used to holding the reins in your hands. If you find yourself manipulating your top, trying to coerce them […]

When first getting into the scene, it can often be somewhat intimidating to try playing with SM, especially if neither of you have done it before. Here’s this wonderful person, who wants you to dominate them. You tie them up, and they’re helpless, wriggling with anticipation and lust… and now what do you do? Play […]

So what’s a switch? One perception that some people can have, looking into the scene from outside, is that people are either tops or bottoms. Either you like to dominate, or you like to be dominated. And sometimes novices become confused, because they’re excited by _both_ possibilities. The facts are, everyone is different, and everyone […]