Vaginal Fisting  (Handballing) is finger fucking and then some. This guide first became aware of the concept when reviewing lesbian tapes produced by and for women. it seems that some women enjoy having a partner’s fist inside their vagina. In fact, most women who enjoy fisting share the experience with near religious awe – an awe that seems to be felt as much by the fister as the fistee.

The trouble is, the kind of vaginal fisting these women are talking about is usually being done by a woman to a woman. This is an important distinction, since most women usually have significantly smaller fists than men. A fist the size of a man’s could take a potentially pleasurable experience and turn it into something akin to childbirth. On the other hand, some women claim to like a bigger fist. Either way, it needs to be a mutual decision and not something one partner pushes on the other.

The reason this guide decided to include information about vaginal fisting is because friends in the lesbian community as well as some straight sex therapists believe it is being done, and people who are doing it need access to information. Please do not think that we encourage fisting. It’s not anything that anyone around here has ever done. Also be aware that any kind of fisting is a potentially dangerous activity, especially if done quickly and without the fistee controlling each part of the action. For instance, some women experience a slight amount of bleeding following fisting. Fisting enthusiasts say this is normal but gynecologists might not agree. Interestingly, an exercise called “perineal massage” which is sometimes taught in child birthclasses is similar to vaginal fisting.

Please check with a gynecologist before attempting any kind of fisting, and in no instance should you proceed if you experience anything but the slightest amount of pain. Perhaps you can find the name of a physician or nurse practitioner who is familiar with fisting through a gay & lesbian health center, since your local HMO night not be particularly well versed in the practice, or not willing admit it anyway. Also, you should never attempt fisting if either of you have been drinking or doing drugs.

If vaginal fisting is an experience a woman genuinely wants to try and is certain she can handle it physically, here are a few things to consider as mentioned in a 1992 article on the subject by Carol Queen which was published in the woman’s magazine “On Our Backs!”

1. Always wear a well lubricated latex glove, as much for the woman’s comfort as for germ prevention. (Even a jagged cuticle can cause discomfort, which is why you need the glove.) There should be no rings or untrimmed nails, and the woman should pee first.

2. Ms. Queen: “Don’t try this on a dry, sleepy pussy. Wake her up! Make her want it! And please, allow sufficient time.” Be sure to add lots of lubrication.

3. The fistee starts by inserting one finger into the vagina, moves up to two, then three. The way to introduce the fourth is to bring the fingers together into a point, but while still extending them. This should be a familiar gesture for people who grew up dipping fingers into holy water each morning. (The things you learn from a religious education … ) For others, the hand will look like a caricature of a bird’s head when viewed from the side. Be sure to turn it upside down before inserting.

4. Knuckles down, palm up. It’s the bottom part of the vagina that stretches, not the top. This means that your knuckles (the back of your hand) should be facing the bottom part of the vagina, or as Ms. Queen so eloquently states “…Stretch assward instead of clitward. When she is sufficiently relaxed, your hand will likely slide right in, the fingers naturally curling up into a fist.” Be sure to let the woman control theaction, and stop if there is resistance.

5. Some women will only want three or four fingers inside rather than the whole fist. Respect this and never think of it as a failure. The goal should be mutual pleasure rather than getting a whole fist inside. Never hesitate to call it a day and move on to some other form of sexual activity that doesn’t stretch the bounds of comfort.

6. Only with a great deal of feedback will you know whether the woman wants you to twist your hand or keep it stationary, or to move your fingers.

7. Some women will want to orgasm with the fist inside, others will want to wait until it is out. To quote Ms. Oueen: “I find that when my partner is fisting me I love to play with my clit and keep myself on the edge of orgasm … But when the hand comes out, I come like crazy. With smaller-handed partners I like getting fist-fucked and coming, squeezing down on their wrists. As a fister, feeling those contractions in ray partner is my favorite moment – that and when my hand first slips inside.

8. When you finally pull your hand out, do it very, very slowly and straighten your fingers as you go. The slowness can help minimize discomfort and increase sensation. Also, if a woman has had an orgasm her vagina may tighten up around your fist. it might help if she pushes down at the same time that you are slowly pulling your hand out.

9. Afterwards. Plan to spend plenty of time holding each other after you are done, as fisting tends to be a powerful experience that needs protracted coming down time. Also, don’t hesitate to follow it up with oral sex or anything else that gives the two of you pleasure, although having a penis inside of a woman’s vagina immediately after a fist might be somewhat of a letdown for a woman.

If you are thinking of getting into vaginal fisting, Greenery Press has recently released a book titled “A Hand In The Bush: The Fine Art Of Vaginal Fisting,” by Deborah Addington, Greenery Press,San Francisco, CA. (415)831-2220.

Anal Fisting 


Some couples, straight as well as gay, are into anal fisting. Technically, this act is possible without causing irreparable damage, since surgeons occasionally stick an entire hand up a person’s rear end while doing surgery, and how many of us haven’t had a boss who didn’t try to do nearly the same thing, at least metaphorically? On the other hand, receiving an entire fist up the rear end requires the kind of relaxation that is well beyond the capacity of the average asshole.

Couples into anal fisting often recommend a book on the subject by Burt Hermann titled “Trust – The Hand Book.” At the very least, consult with your family physician before attempting anal fisting.

…..”Hello, Dr. Welby .. You have? Really? Lots of lube?”