There are four key elements to bondage. They do not always come together in every session and they do not have to. That is up to the dominant’s plan and intentions. But it is important to understand them.

Regardless the technique you use, these key elements (in random order) are:

* Time
* Helplessness
* Exposure
* Frustration

Let’s look at these elements in a bit more detail. But first this. While in oriental bondage these elements are examined and used in great detail, western style is more often used to either “just” restrain or as part of a session that incorporates a lot more. While you do not have to go as far as the oriental Shibari specialists, you will greatly benefit from looking at these elements and using them in your scenes and sessions. It will make the effects, hence your entire scene, a lot more intense without extra effort.

Time
Time is an important factor in most BDSM-play. In bondage, it is crucial. The longer a bondage is being maintained, the more intense its effects will become. And that is not only true for physically demanding positions, such as a hog tie. Even a very simple set up will sort a lot more effect, if the effects of it are given a chance to really kick in mentally. Being restrained is one thing – truly experiencing the fact that freedom is being restricted is something else. Even if that is only a little freedom.

Besides, even though these are usually not specifically targeted in western bondage, ropes and knots will quite often work on erotic pressure points and these pressure points again require time, even if you accidentally target them. For western style, simply be aware that the wrists and ankles especially have a lot of such points and that, no matter what you do, these will almost always be used, so you might as well take advantage of this.

Helplessness
Helplessness is an important factor to the slave. The fact that she is at the mercy of the dominant is what makes the whole thing tick.That – mentally – is where the power exchange is, regardless if you are just having a fun Friday night or if you have a full scale D/s relationship. Bondage greatly helps to both physically and mentally create this feeling of helplessness, hence you should take as much advantage of it as you can.Novice doms especially tend to overlook this aspect. While they usually spend a lot of time looking at pictures, once “the real thing” is roped, they will very rapidly proceed to the next steps of their plans and disregard the joy, you can find in just taking some time to look at your now helpless slave.That is where she gets turned on, so do take time to let her know she is helpless and at your mercy, without actually doing anything. The anticipation, mild fear and excitement is more than enough, especially in the early stages of your session.

Exposure
Exposure and helplessness go hand in hand. And that is not just sexual exposure. Just the fact that her now restrained body is being exposed (and ready for whatever use) is an important factor that should not be overlooked. Hence, just looking at your helpless slave works miracles. Be a cat. She is now your “prey” – make her feel she is by walking around her, observing or just sitting and looking at her.

Being sexually exposed is a major fantasy for many, many women, so that is another factor to take into account. Be aware that most women have a love/hate relationship with their genitals – make good use of that by exposing them and leaving her with no option but to be exposed.

Frustration
No, it won’t always be easy. It won’t always be what she expected it to be. She is likely to become frustrated. And ….. that’s the whole point. Frustration is something to be careful with, but something that you should use. Because that is where domination kicks in. Even if it is only a split second where the dominant will NOT respond to her pleas, cries or whatever, THAT is where she is really and truly dominated and that will leave a major impression. Hence you may want to take things just a tad further than she expected or thought she could handle. And there is nothing wrong with bondage and teasing.

The above article is a reprint from our information/educational site Kink Culture.
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