Training Bondages

Both giver and recipient will do wise to do several different simple training sessions. This will help the giver to build up some skill and get acquainted with the effects of Shibari and it will help the recipient to deal with aspects such as frustration and vulnerability.

Training bondage #1

The objective here is to train the recipient in how to deal with frustration and overcoming mental and physical difficulties. Cross the thumbs in an X and tie them together in the same way you would tie the wrists or the ankles in an X-position, only make sure you use a thinner rope. Do not tie this too tightly – to avoid blocked veins – but just tight enough to avoid escape. Seal the knot with a few drops of candle wax so your partner cannot try to untie herself unnoticed (this is an important psychological signal). Leave the bondage in place for a long time and order her to perform normal household duties for example, or just sit and talk, watch television or do anything else you would normally do. Since she is now slightly restrained and handicapped, almost everything she wants/needs to do will be more difficult than it normally would be. This will soon become frustrating and that is exactly the point. Do not immediately respond to signals of frustration, make sure she feels frustrated. She will need to learn to cope with that.

Training bondage #2

Tie one thumb to one toe. This will have a dramatic influence on her freedom to move, dress herself, sit or lay down comfortable and the bowed/arched position will somewhat decrease her ability to fully inhale, will put strain on the back and the spine and again is generally frustrating. Combine this with relaxation and breathing techniques, explained elsewhere.

Again the objective is to train her to cope with discomfort, limitation of her freedom as well as coping with “alarm signals”. Again, the giver should not respond to the first signals of distress or protest but push and test her limits (do not overdo this, especially not during your first sessions). Upon protest or a distress signal, make sure she is alright and there is no real discomfort or pain but do not untie her immediately since the objective here is testing limits.

Communication

Communication is paramount prior to these training sessions. It should be clear to the recipient that this is a training session and it is a good idea to both explain and discuss the purposes of the training. Also – prior to any action – explain you will test and push her limits and make sure she is ready for this. Remember that even these “simple” training bondages have a huge mental impact. Expect tears, anger and frustration and – of course – after the session address these issues.

Safewords or Signals

In the sports format of any martial art is is perfectly normal to use safety signals (the “I give up” signal for example, which is usually a tap on the opponent’s body). It is a good idea, especially in the early stages of your discovery, to establish such signals (or a word, preferably one that does not normally fit into an erotic context). Both giver and recipient can use such signals, the moment there is a need for communication or things get too overwhelming or simply too uncomfortable.

The above article is a reprint from our information/educational site Kink Culture.
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