The hair as a symbol of submission

There are various ways in which you can use her hair to turn it into a symbol of submission. Almost all women are very specific about their hair, its color and style. Yes, it is a personal affair. So one thing a dom might think about is to interfere with exactly that, for example by changing her hair color and or style or length to what HE wants it to be.

Change her hair color and she will have no option but to show her submissiveness anytime, all the time. Not that everybody will notice that, the important thing is SHE does. Once your blond partner has been turned into a flaming redhead for example, she’ll have no escape route anymore. Every time she looks in the mirror, every time someone makes a remark about her hair color, every time she sees herself in a shop window she’ll be reminded of the reasons why she’s now red an no longer blond. And that is only one example. Change her style and things may become even more powerful. Her hair is no longer hers, hence an important part of her personality and image is no longer hers.

Powerful psychological doming in an online situation

Many are in what is known as virtual relationships. Due to the fact that you’re only just starting, have no other options or are simply circumstance due to long distance for example. And it is certainly not easy to keep that exciting and bring an element of “reality”. The hair may come to the rescue here, as this real life example of slave X may show.

Slave X, a submissive in her early phases of recognition and exploration and coached by an online mentor, had a lot of “control issues” which led her mentor to believe there was more to her submissive role and that she was holding back emotions and maybe traumatic experiences. Some of that soon came out by simply talking about it, but it became apparent that if it were possible to create some sort of “no escape situation”, that this would help her to open up. So the mentor ordered her to pay a visit to the hairdresser with a few specific and dramatic instructions: her shoulder long hair was to be diminished to a mere one inch length and the color was to change from dark blond to black. Of course her next step was to pay a visit to the photo shop immediately afterwards, have a digitized picture taken and send that to the mentor.

It was a dramatic Saturday with a lot of tears and difficulty, but ever since she became a lot more honest, predominantly towards herself and coping with “issues from the past” became less difficult, since she now knew she had no escape anymore and that things like these could be done in a consensual way and – no matter how dramatic – could be fun and exciting as well. In less dramatic ways the hair can be used as a symbol as well. For example by ordering your slave to wear her hair in a specific way during a scene. Most doms will prefer a pony tail (sexy and practical) but – for example if your are into age play or old fashioned spanking role play – the hairdo can dramatically improve your scene. Think pigtails and braids for example. If you – dominant – order your slave to do her hair in a specific way prior to active play you are doing a lot of psychological things, some of which will have an almost hypnotic effect:

•  By preparing herself for a scene it becomes clear to her that nothing is or can be taken for granted and that she will have to actively DO something before she is allowed to show and enjoy her submission.

•  You are giving a powerful signal about “things to come”.
•  The scene itself will gain gravity and momentum, hence a relatively simple thing as doing her hair gets an almost spiritual/ritual meaning.
•  You create an extra moment for inspection and/or correction if you are into that and in general her role becomes more intense to her, even before active play starts.

Lead her into submission

By doing this you will lead her into submission, which will bring her into initial subspace even before active play, in a very subtle way. At the same time – and that is where the real psychology is – you will do something which is known as “bridging”. You are creating a mental connection between the way she LOOKS and what she IS. In other words: her hair is important to her and always has been, probably from early childhood on. Her hair is an important part of her image and to some extent maybe even her social and/or economical success. Now you are carefully braiding “submission” into these powerful connotations. Hence, slowly she will make the mental connection between her hairdo and her submissive personality aspects. That is where you are building psychological bridges and where you will quite a bit of deep level conditioning by changing her mindset.

We told you that you would get to the point where you would have to re-evaluate the meaning of consent. Whenever we are talking domination we are talking serious domination. Not the “oh you want that, okay, i’ll do only that” type of domination, which is fine if you are into that, but which is considered role play and not exactly lifestyle oriented domination. While we’re not advocating to freely cross boundaries and ignore her completely, the general assumption is that if and when a slave wishes to submit, she should do exactly that. The hair offers great opportunities to drive that point home.

The above article is a reprint from our information/educational site Kink Culture.
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