Dear kiko, I’m Tommy and I want to have hot passionate sex with you. I don’t know what your bottom looks like and since I am a foot and ass man, before I order, I would like to see it. i want to stuff my dick in your ass! I’m tired of playing games with people so I’ll cut to the chase. I love giving and getting great head. I love anal intercourse. I have a BIG COCK so I will be considerate of your feeling. I’m disease-free…I sell plasma in Huntington and will wear a rubber if you have one or I can bring some. I usually cum 5 or 6 times during a session and I would never stop until you’re satisfied. I’m not looking for a committment but I am currently unnattached and not “seeing” anyone. I love cunnilingus and enjoy getting it on in the shower. I enjoy slow fellatio and really get off when my partner swallows my cum. I love exploring my par! tners orifices with toys and dildos(if you have them). If there’s a chance of us getting it on please e-mail me moonbeam@ezwv.com Please don’t jerk my chain. I simply want to satisfy you by giving you what I feel to be great sex. I’m in great shape and maintain a high sperm count. I hope to hear from you soon and look forward to fucking you anywhere and everywhere. I have an immense erection at the moment and wish you were here to suck it for me.
I CUM 4U2,
Tommy
WHY2K: British radio station Classic FM says it will play nothing but “get in the mood” music all night on March 20 to help couples conceive a child. That night is ideal for timing a baby to be born on the first day of the millennium, the station says. They plan to play such classics as Ravel’s Bolero and, for those with less time, Puccini’s aria Doretta’s Dream (”known for its quick climax”). (Reuters) …Just so they don’t play Night on Bald Mountain.
SHOCK TREATMENT: Milton R. Hobbs, 35, was without power after the local utility disconnected him, but he thought he could take care of that problem by himself. After drinking “four or five” cans of brewed intelligence, the Centerton, Ark., man climbed an aluminum ladder to get to the distribution wires and connect his house to the lines. He was rewarded with a 7,620-volt shock which severely burned his hands and wrists. He faces other charges, too: felony criminal mischief, criminal trespass and theft of services. (AP) …Just because the lights are on doesn’t mean anyone is home.
BREAK A LEG: The lone air traffic controller at Bournemouth airport in southern England knew he had a few minutes to go get himself a cup of coffee before the next plane arrived. But Greg Fanos, 39, fell down a flight of stairs instead, breaking his ankle. “Crawling back to the tower was only two or three yards, but it seemed to take forever,” he said. Long enough, in fact, that two planes had arrived. Unable to raise the tower on the radio, they went into a holding pattern until Fanos could get back upstairs. (Reuters) …”The strong man is strongest when alone.” –Tell, in Wilhelm Tell (act 1, sc. 3).
HOT FLASH: A 10-year study by the MacArthur Foundation’s Network on Successful Midlife Development finds the popular notion of the “midlife crisis” is mostly a myth. “We have this public image of midlife being full of stress,” said a spokesman. But among men, 90 percent never had any sort of “midlife crisis”, let alone one that involves leaving the wife and kids to marry their secretary. Even most women come away from the “change of life” with little trauma. “For most middle-aged women, menopause is a benign experience, a far cry from the view of many contemporary writers,” said a sociologist who worked on the study. (AP) …But without the excuse, how can we justify the Porsche?
CONDOMANIACAL: Two teenaged boys in Fuerstenfeldbruck, Germany, too embarrassed to buy condoms openly, went into a gas station with stockings over their heads. After their purchase they stepped back outside only to be confronted by several policemen, guns drawn, who thought they were robbing the place. The boys, aged 14 and 15, were released after it became clear what was going on. “This could have ended badly,” a police spokesman said. Meanwhile, a 20-year-old man in Thisted, northwestern Denmark, who bought a condom from a vending machine in a bar got his finger stuck in the dispensing mechanism. Other bar patrons tried to help, but to no avail. The machine was transported to a repair center – with the man still attached. (AFP, 2)
…It could have been worse: he might have thought it installed them, too.
PUBLICITY PLOT: Activists from Greenpeace decided to show politicians in Louisiana just how dangerously polluted fish from the Mississippi River are. They caught some near a plastics plant and, with TV cameras in tow, delivered a “toxic fish lunch” to the Governor’s Mansion. Gov. Mike Foster wasn’t there, but his press secretary, Marsanne Golsby, accepted it on his behalf, then pulled a plastic fork from her pocket and wolfed the fish down. The protestors warned her against eating their offering, but she replied, “Why did you bring it if you didn’t want me to eat it?” Golsby said later she felt fine. (AP) …She works for a politician: of course she has built up a tolerance to plastic.
FRANKLY MY DEAR, I DON’T GIVE A DAMN: Tarah Lyczenski isn’t happy with her father, who started dating another woman before his divorce from her mother was final. So she has installed a 7-foot-tall red “A” in her mother’s front yard, inspired by the classic “Scarlet Letter” novel by Nathanial Hawthorne. “We were raised with high morals,” Lyczenski said. “I told my dad that we’ll take it down if he stops living with her.” Her dad Tim isn’t fazed. “They’re trying to do it to embarrass me,” he said, “but they’re doing a better job of embarrassing themselves. They see it as an affair. I’m 48 years old, and I see it as a relationship.” He hasn’t seen the display, since a restraining order requires he stay away from his ex-wife’s house. (UPI) …Then the A seems to stand for Addlebrained, rather than Adulterer.
LETTERMAN: Police in Olathe, Kan., have re-arrested a forger after he was let out of jail based on a faxed letter from the Department of Corrections. The letter was a forgery, but was initially accepted as genuine even though it misspelled the word “governor”. Joshua Williams, 38, who was already on probation from a forgery conviction, was in jail awaiting trial on several more charges of forgery. Additional charges over the forged fax may be pending. “We’re real interested in finding the creative mind that faxed that letter,” a Department of Corrections spokesman said. (AP) …Some people just don’t know the difference between write and wrong.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW? “Expert: Ignorance May Worsen Situation” — UPI headline
YOU HAVE TO SAY one thing for Playboy magazine: they know where the trends are. In their April issue, they point out e-mailed newsletters are a lot of fun, and singled out “a few favorites”. TRUE was right up there, noted as one way to “liven up the week with bizarre-but-true news”. While I appreciate it very much, I really think it would be more appropriate to thank several of the staff in person….
THIS WEEK’S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Yehudi Menuhin. A child prodigy violinist, Menuhin first heard classical music as a toddler when his parents took him to concerts to avoid paying for a baby sitter. He so wanted a violin that his parents bought him a toy; when he heard the awful sound, he threw it down, sobbing. They got him a real one to replace it, and he started lessons at age 4. The New York-born Menuhin gave his premiere performance at age 7 with the San Francisco Symphony. He gave more than 500 concerts for Allied forces during World War II, played for heads of state, and was given an honorary knighthood by Queen Elizabeth. Menuhin died in Berlin March 12 from heart failure at age 82.