Good question: why would anyone want to suspend someone in an erotic setting? Well, actually, there is a variety of reasons and answers to that question. What you may want to do is use this article to find out what it is that turns your crank.

Most often, when asked this question, people will answer: “Because it is spectacular”. And yes, that is true. It is spectacular. But the question arises: do you think “spectacular” is what belongs in your love life? Do you have fireworks and drumrolls when you orgasm? In your head sure (hopefully anyway). But in your head is not the same as having a marching band in your bedroom. “Spectacular” is good, but it should not be a reason, at least not the only one. If it is, what you are actually doing is showing off – you are not having an intimate adventure with your partner.

Suspension techniques are an integral part of Shibari. And as a result, they are best described in this Japanese context – including the reasons for suspending someone.

The most common reason is to change reality. Taking someone’s feet off the floor – even without changing their position towards gravity – is a powerful and effective way to alter the way in which you experience your surroundings. There is some uncertainty involved, simply because you are used to having your feet on the ground, and your perspective is (quite literally) different. In other words, the world around you looks different simply because the angle of sight changes. Changing the position in relation to gravity dramatically enhances this experience.

Another factor, to take into account, is uncertainty. People usually do not feel completely safe when their feet are off the floor. Since we are not birds, we are not used to being up in the air and this uncertainty brings another factor into play: the need to surrender and trust. When suspended, the person in the suspension usually has few other options but to trust the one, performing the suspension, and to follow his or her lead. This creates a powerful experience of dependency, something that most people with a submissive inclination will love. To the giver it brings about an intens feeling of power.

Concentrating on Shibari specifically, two other factors are involved.

First there is the use of Shiatsu erotic pressure points. Shiatsu in therapeutic terms will often mean the therapist will quite literally places (part of) his of her weight on the client since in some areas “the harder you pust, the better your impact” is certainly true. Experience has learned that this is largely true for those erotic points and areas, that CAN be pushed on, for example the inside of the thighs and the many pressure points, along the spine. You simply do not have that many hands, so the ropes and the weight of the suspended person will come to your aid and provide intensified pressure in various places at the same time.

Secondly, never forget that in a traditional Japanese setting at least some level of cruelty will always plays a part. In this sense, the demanding and sometimes painful aspects of a suspended bondage play an important part too.

In other words, there is more than one level to Japanese suspension. These different levels are used in a carefully designed and planned mix.

Exposure

In any suspension the exposure factor plays an important role. The person suspended is sort of “hanging around”, basically unable to do anything other than wait for what is to come and – helplessly!!! – allow that to happen. This “that” may be anything from sexual arrousal to mild or even intens erotic stimulation and torment, mindplay and a variey of other things.

This “expectation” and – maybe more importantly – the awareness of being helpless is probably one of the most important factors, especially to the person suspended. We call that the “have to factor” – in other words, there is no other option but to accept the lead of the giving partner and no position is as powerful as a suspension, when it comes to that. Being bound on a bed or a table is one thing, but imagine what would happen if we suddenly took the bed away from underneath you. That is what suspension does. It takes away the final element of certainty: physical contact with something solid.

Most suspension positions will make “private” bodyparts, such as breasts, nipples and the genital area more easily available while the suspended person is without means to either conceal or “defend” these areas. True, that is also the case in a variety of non-suspension bondages, but to understand why suspension is so powerful, you’ll have to take all other layers and psychological and physical effects into account.

Go slow!

A quote from the German composer Johann Sebastian Bach: “In der Beschraenkung zeigt sich dem Meister” (through limitation, the master shows).

This is very true when it comes to suspension. Every detail, no matter how minute, counts and an overdose of impulses is easily created. Is such an overdose a bad thing? Yes, in most cases it is. The brain will simply shut down (in some cases quite literally, the result of which is fainting) and the suspended person will quickly get to a stage where he or she “just sits out the storm”. That is not what you would want to happen.

The mind is a very powerful instrument and very hard to learn to play, especially because you cannot see it and to a large extent you cannot even hear the music, it produces, because that “music” will only be in the head of both partners. Much of that cannot even be described later, simply because it is too much and because at least part of it works, the way dreams work – most people do not remember (parts of) their dreams and many sensations, experienced in a dream, are very hard if not impossible to describe, even if you were able to remember them.

The psychological levels and aspects, described above, will turn on the internal VCR of the person suspended and his or her fantasy and imagination will run at well over 100 Mph. By all means, let this VCR do the work for you. It is powerful enough and you probably will not need to add any extra impulses. A gentle touch is likely to feel like a blow, a soft whisper may have the effect of a bomb going off, a feather may feel like a thousand whips.

When you look at pictures of Japanese suspensions, you will find that hardly ever any other impulses are being used, not even a simple blindfold. That is, because there usually is no need for them. The mind will do all of that for you, and quite happily (and effectively) on its own. If you are the giver, sit down, relax and enjoy the view. You have done a lot of work and hopefully you have created a masterpiece. By all means DO take the time to enjoy yourself and do not exhaust yourself and your partner by adding lots of other impulses and play forms.

There is a major difference to any other bondage position. Most of these are usually used as “foreplay” or as functional to other play forms. In other words, restrain your partner first and next whip, torment or tease him or her. In such cases the bondage – although powerful by itself – is largely instrumental to the entire scene. A suspension is NOT! A suspened bondage is a scene on its own and all by itself. It is the cake, the icing and the cherries. Usually, it does not need anything else. Adding more impulses is like adding chocolate, peaches and cream on top of an already perfect strawberry pie!

 

The above article is a reprint from our information/educational site Kink Culture.
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